50 Funny and Bizarre Excuses Given to Police and Insurance Companies Following Car Accidents

Quotations can inform and they can stimulate. They can be wise, witty or foolish. The author has collected some of the best in his web pages

Introduction

The public perception of policemen and women may be that they do an enormously serious job.

The public perception of insurance company representatives may be that they do a rather dreary job.

Yet it seems both these professions have their moments of mirth; and not least when dealing with the claims and excuses of those members of the public who have been involved in an unfortunate car accident.

On this page fifty of the silliest, most incomprehensible and unintentionally funny explanations for these car accidents are reproduced. What exactly is going on in the brains of the speakers is unclear. Some may be the spur of the moment, mangled attempt of a guilty individual attempting to deflect blame from himself or herself. Others I’m sure are entirely veritable statements by people who, when confronted by authority figures like policemen, or with official claims procedures, become jumpy and befuddled.

Whatever the reason may be for these blunders of spoken or written evidence, they are undeniably funny!

N.B: Please note, all my articles are best read on desktops and laptops

Just Why Did I Have That Accident? Twenty Genuine Insurance Claim Explanations

1. Leaving home for work I drove out of my drive and straight into a bus; the bus was five minutes early.
2. I was driving my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.
3. I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.
4. One wheel went into the ditch. My foot hopped from the accelerator pedal, leapt across the lane to the other side and jammed in the trunk of a tree.
5. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
6. The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a pubic hair with just his rear end demonstrating.
7. I was knocked out as a result of the collision and was taken to hospital where I sustained serious injuries.
8. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and struck a tree I haven’t got.
9. The accident was caused by me flapping to the man I hit last week.
10. The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.
11. I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
12. I don’t know who was to blame for the accident; I wasn’t looking.
13. There was no harm to the car as the gate post will testify.
14. I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and throttled it with a blanket.
15. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.
16. I had one eye on a parked car, another on approaching lorries, and another on the woman behind.
17. I eyed her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on influence..
18. I embarked to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.
19. A truck backed through my windshield onto my wifey’s face.
20. I told the other Idiot what he was and went on.

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